Rituals.

“When words are inadequate, ceremony and ritual help us express our profound thoughts and feelings.” - Dr. Alan Wolfelt

The idea of ritual and ceremony is not a completely foreign concept to most people as we come together to celebrate birthdays and graduations, honor marriage at weddings, or commemorate a loved one’s death at a funeral. What we do not do as often is mark the in-between moments that still carry significance and meaning. I have had clients come to talk through difficult family dynamics and realize that what may need to happen is grief work and creating a ritual to mourn the loss of the parent they wish they had. No the parent is not actually dead, but to the client there must be a recognition that her mom may never be who she needs her to be in order to process, heal, and move forward.

Whether it is a job loss or a move into a new home, these are significant moments that are helpful to mark in some way. Some rituals may be more celebratory in nature while others may be more somber, but they all require intention and reflection - which we do not always do well in this busy world we live in.

Sometimes when I am sitting with a client in session we find that talking through what she is feeling or what she experienced does not feel like enough. The emotion feels stuck, the intrusive thoughts do not go away, and the memories still feel very alive and real.

I have even found that sometimes words are not enough to help a client hold onto the healing she has worked so hard for. Like the healing does not yet feel integrated or trustworthy, and the fear of backsliding is very real.

This is when I turn to rituals to help clients move through their healing journey. To begin a ritual we need to first clarify the intention. Then we incorporate some type of movement, elements of the earth, and objects of symbolism. Rituals can be done alone, but are possibly more powerful when we invite others into the process with us.

Rituals do not have to be lengthy or over-complicated but they do need to have intention and meaning. Sometimes the hardest part is simply being still long enough to acknowledge what we are feeling and being okay with whatever surfaces. Perhaps the next time you notice a significant moment happening in your life you take pause and ask if this perhaps needs more attention and ceremony. It can be easy to move quickly through life, but there is so much we miss along the way when that happens.