As mentioned last week, here is an exercise adapted from Deb Dana and the Polyvagal Theory to help you better understand your own autonomic nervous system.

First we have our autonomic ladder which shows the 3 states of our nervous system:

Ventral Vagal/Parasympathetic State (aka rest and digest). This is where we feel connected to ourselves, engaged, access to our (prefrontal) cortex responsible for logical thinking, decision making, and self control among other things, lower levels of cortisol, resting hear rate. Basically everything internally is functioning at optimal levels.

Sympathetic State (aka fight/flight). This is where we may begin to feel more irritated towards others, more restless and agitated in our bodies and thoughts, higher levels of cortisol, increase heart rate, limited capacity to manage stress. Think resources in our body not needed for survival are beginning to shift so less energy and functioning going towards social engagement and logical thinking, and more energy going towards reactions and our limbic system.

Dorsal State (shut down/freeze). This is where we really begin to feel more isolated and withdrawn from others, lacking motivation, possible feelings of hopelessness, shame, numbness and disconnection from our body, less eye contact with others, change in tone of voice, among other physical indications.

Okay, so now it is your turn to give each of these states a name that you can identify with and easily recall. You can also stick with the given names above.

Next, ask yourself what it looks like in your body when you are in each of these states? What kind of physical sensations do you notice, or maybe it is a lack of a physical sensation that draws your attention? When you are in your ventral vagal state is it a noticeable lack of tension in your shoulders that you feel or maybe an overall sense of calm and wellbeing that you notice?

Now shift to noticing how you engage and connect with others in each of these states. When do you begin to disengage and what does that look like for you?

Lastly, are there any specific emotions that you tend to feel in each of these states? Are you aware of feeling safe when you are in your ventral vagal state? Are you aware of feeling unsafe when you are shifting into fight, flight, or freeze?

We do not often use the term “safety” when thinking about our bodies or social engagement with others. However, our nervous system is constantly scanning for danger and it is when our felt sense of safety is compromised that we begin to see these outward signs of dysregulation and the ripple affect in our relationships with others.

So the next time you notice your are feeling more irritated than usual, check in with yourself. What do you notice and can you name what state your system is in? What can you do to help your system feel more safe in the moment? We want to practice acknowledging, honoring, and supporting ourselves through the dysregulation back into regulation.

Be kind and curious,

Hollis