Looking for glimmers.
By now many of us are familiar with the word “trigger” and how it is often used to describe when we have a strong emotional or physical reaction to something. But, have you heard of the term “glimmer”? So often we look for what makes us feel unsafe or we notice when we have a big reaction to something. What if instead we tried noticing when something makes us feel safe or joyful? Our brains are actually wired to more easily recall the negative experiences in our lives as a protective measure. Like when you were a kid and burned yourself on a hot stove, you may easily recall that memory versus all the other times you touched the stove and nothing happened. Self preservation at its finest, yes?
So what can we do about this? While it is still important to take note of those dangerous and/or painful experiences, we also want to help retrain our brains to take in the good moments as well. And we do this by looking for glimmers. Maybe on your way to work you stop and buy a coffee, taking the time to note how good that first sip feels. Maybe you pause and notice how hearing the laughter of your child makes you feel pure joy? Whatever it is that catches your attention and sends a good feeling through your body, that is what we want to pause on. It may only be for a fleeting moment and that is okay. We can build up to staying in the glimmer longer until it glows, but for now just try and notice how many things you can find in your daily life that could count as a glimmer.
Why are GLIMMERS helpful?
Signal sense of safety to our survival brain
Help to regulate our nervous system
Increase nervous system resiliency
Can be helpful in trauma work and recovery
So maybe tomorrow you set a goal for yourself to find 5 glimmers throughout the day and notice how that feels. And maybe each day after that you continue to seek out 5 glimmers a day until it becomes a part of your daily routine and integrated into who you are and how you see the world around you.
Be kind and curious,
Hollis
*concept of glimmers taken from Deb Dana and the Polyvagal Theory.